It’s been a couple months since I’ve written you! It’s not because I have nothing to say. It’s mostly because every day I tell you what I want to say to you! But someone reminded me that I might forget the little things when you are older. I forget everything as it is so I’m going to try to keep my favorite little memories locked up tight for years to come. Someday I want to tell you about all the stuff that made you, you!
So much has changed from the time you turned 1 to now! It’s amazing how you went from a chubby little baby trying to stand on your own, to an adept little baby (I refuse to call you toddler yet!) zooming past us like a spry little old man. Your all over chubbiness has melted away overnight and left you with a toned little baby body. It reminds me of the baby dolls I used to play with when I was little. Your arms curve inward and curve out and your thighs and calves are rounded with newly formed muscles. The only reminder of the rolls you once had is the globular belly you keep full at all times. You really do amaze us with your appetite! I’m always gloatingly pleased when grownups are shocked and awed with the foods you eat. I’m so happy you aren’t keeping Cheerios in business!
Ok I can’t resist. Most surprising food you like:
- Shrimp and Salmon
- Green beans
- Tahini (Unfortunately sesame seed bit the dust thanks to allergies)
- Spicy food
- Black beans
- Earth’s best food purees: Carrots n Broccoli (Kind of taste like vegetable stew)/ Carrot Split Pea n Kamut (This one actually makes me gag a little)
Most surprising food you dislike:
- Ice cream
- Sugar cookies
At 16 months you have accomplished quite a bit! You can climb stairs by yourself and you like to do it several times a day! You are very active which is awesome! You also like to climb mom and dad. Last weekend we had lunch with a friend and you bounced on my shoulder looking over the booth wall while simultaneously eating half my salmon. You are learning how sequences in activities go together so you are a very good helper around the house. You feed Chance, (“Ch” or “D” in your words)your dog, his supper, help load the washing and dishwashing machine, sweep and give us a heart attack each time you try to help clean the pool. You love the outdoors and dirt. You would stay outside all day if we let you.
Things I never want to forget about you right now!
- You are so outgoing and friendly! You wave to most people and animals and say hi! You melt me with your tender heart.
- You are obsessed with going in the shower and making noises to hear echoes. You have to touch the shower head several times too just in case I might turn the water on for you.
- You show Chance affection by patting his back and laying you head against it. Then you bow your head to Chance so he will lick it.
- When you want someone to come to you, you hover your hand above where you are standing and make an “Ah” sound with a questioning inflection on the end of it. If we don’t come immediately you squat lower and lower to the ground and add more of a questioning lilt to your voice to show more emphasis. It’s absolutely irresistible and always ends with me squeezing you while smothering your wiggly self with kisses.
- You love water. I don’t even know how to explain how much you love water. It intrigues you. The sound, the feel, the way it looks. Everything about it pulls you in and captivates you.
- So your kind of going through a screaming phase. I’m much better with screaming than crying but your dad has a hard time when you are screaming at him. Sometimes you scream to talk or play with us. Sometimes you scream at night just to hear yourself. Oh but the times when you don’t get your way… those are the screams to remember. We can actually see you inhale to fill your lungs with air while you form a perfect oh shape with your mouth. I imagine the sound you make is similar to that of the Screaming Banshee of Ireland. It leave the ears ringing in protest.
- You have happy feet. You stomp them and laugh and I think you’re going to be a great dancer one day!
- You learned to emphatically shake your head no while saying no. It’s helpful sometimes and cute all the time.
- Ok so I’m super crazy proud of this one. So I hum and sing all the time. Your dad does too actually. Just a few weeks ago you pressed your little lips tight together and with a thoughtful face turned away from me you started humming your own tune. I could not contain myself! When I gushed that it was beautiful you looked so pleased! Now you hum in the car or when you are in a quiet introspective mood. We make sure to tell you how pretty it is. I hope you always hum your own tune in life.
These are busy days where weekends melt into weekdays and weekdays melt into months. The To Do list gets longer and longer and the laundry piles up. While I don’t always know where the time goes I do know that my silver lining likes to put his pudgy feet on my face and giggles when I munch his thighs. I know there is nothing brighter than the big toothy grin you readily give to us and the world you embrace. I know that you are a crazy baby monster who jumps on our back and squeals and laughs and loves. You’re a blessing and I only hope to bring as much joy to your life as you bring to ours.
Until next time little munchkin-butt.
Love you always,
Mama & DAAaaaaa
My my my how life can spin and whirl you in dizzying directions! For the past couple months my husband has been traveling much more than usual for work. I work full time too and that doesn’t leave much time for baby Ian and me to hang out. Sometimes you have to make sacrifices and cut the fat. I miss you all terribly though! I promise to write much more in the coming months to make up for my absence. In the meantime I will tell you what I’m working on!
I am slowly but surely planning our little boys very 1st birthday and getting ready for a snowy home grown Christmas in Pennsylvania. I fully intend on inundating you with pictures and stories by then. For now I consider myself lucky if I remember to put both ear rings in my ears and have matching shoe!
My ultimate goal is to slow down as soon as I can and reconnect with you! What do you think of this my friends? Stay with me and I promise to have lots of humor and kookiness in the coming year!
Here is a sneak peak at little Ian’s birthday plans!
We saved a couple trees with Paperless Posts! They have awesome online cards and we were able to order a hard copy of the card as a keepsake!
I call his birthday party theme Jungle Chic! Ian loves anything gold or silver so we thought it would be fun to incorporate this into a more traditional safari kind of theme. So here is my Inspiration Board full of things that make me smile and hopefully make little Ian a happy 1 year old on his special day. I’ll post pictures from his party soon. Thanks for sticking with me during the sparce writing periods!
It’s a jungle out there!
Much love – The byrd
When we think of friends, and call their faces out of the shadows, and their voices out of the echoes that faint along the corridors of memory, and do it without knowing why save that we love to do it, we content ourselves that that friendship is a Reality, and not a Fancy –that it is builded upon a rock, and not upon the sands that dissolve away with the ebbing tides and carry their monuments with them.
On Tuesday I said goodbye to an old friend. For eleven years we rarely spent a day apart. She was an awesome weekend warrior and an irreplaceable sidekick. She was my warm fuzzy at the end of the day and my home sweet home when it was just the two of us girls up against the world. She welcomed and shared all of our seasons in life with a brave smile that made her beautiful amber eyes glow like bubbling hot caramel. Regardless of how stressed she was she was never too busy to stop and just sit beside me.
Tuesday was quiet and simply spent with family. She was in her eighties and while her soul was young her body had recently become riddled with arthritis and cancer. She was happy but there were shadows in her eyes that seemed to silently say “I love you but I’m tired”. On Tuesday she silently said “Let me go home please. I promise it’s ok to let me go”. It was time for her even though I wasn’t ready. It was the right thing to do but I didn’t know how I was going to get up every morning knowing she wasn’t there. Tuesday Beta was once again my strength as I told her goodbye. Even though it was she who was the brave one going on to the unknown; it was me who was scared and unwilling to accept the finality of her leaving but accept it or not my girl left me yesterday.
My heart will forever be grateful for the unwavering love my Beta girl showered me and everyone else in her life with. As to how I will get up every morning knowing she isn’t in my life anymore… well I’m going to take a lesson out of Beta’s book and smile because life is sweet and full of many bittersweet moments. The best choice we can make is to enjoy the bumpy ride and appreciate love given and returned.
Top twenty things that I’ll miss about our girl:
- You had more hair on your body than I thought could possibly exist on one dog’s body. I could knit three sweaters from your coat. I could knit one sweater from fur balls floating around the house.
- How you would hang your paw on my arm when you wanted attention
- The frantic whining ball of slobbery fur you turned into when I pulled you leash out of the drawer
- You would hover in the kitchen when I cooked.
- You would lay right outside of the kitchen parameters when I told you to get out of my kitchen.
- How you hated your picture taken and the many ways you managed to avoid the camera
- How you sized up Dave for at least a month when he moved in with us.
- Your patience with the much younger dog [Chance] we brought home four years ago. He misses you so much.
- You always loved the song California by Joni Mitchel. It calmed you.
- Your ability to chew through just about anything (an entire tree stump, a rattan sofa, wall outlet covers, rugs…doors)
- Your snore could be heard from the opposite end of the house. It was amazing. I once yelled at Dave to be quiet only to find you sleeping on the other side of the bed.
- Whenever everything was crazy I could always look over and find you waiting to make eye contact for a few calming minutes.
- I miss your beautiful brown eyes.
- Having to trip over you in the mornings when I first get up
- Tripping over you when I’m cooking at the stove
- Tripping over you when I come in the front door
- Tripping over you when I get up off the couch
- Giving you baths. You hated them. You tried to climb up me every time.
- Your kisses. You didn’t lick everyone and thing in site. You only gave them to comfort or show affection
- Your smell. It was God awful when it rained and you were always hot in South Carolina weather…but I would give anything to burry my face in your fur.
- You wagged your tail even when we fussed at you. It was impossible to stay upset.
- How you would find a secret place to poop in the house so you wouldn’t get in trouble
- How you would growl angerly as you rolled on your back to scratch it
- How you forgave the twenty year old me though I know I failed you more than once.
Ok top twenty four things I guess!
Love you Beta. We will never forget you.
I am your mother and I am a wild mess. Every morning I wake up and look at the wonder of you and then the rat race begins! I tip toe through the house and get dressed in the dark and if your dad is home I give the dogs a scrunch and head to the job. Most mornings I don’t put makeup on until I get to the office parking lot and more often than not I don’t put makeup on at all. I leave an extra toothbrush and deodorant at work for those extra special mornings when I’m really a spastic mess. My bed head that the ever so fabulous and stylish girl in Payroll is envious of, comes directly from my at home hair dresser aka the fluffy drool stained pillow I would really like to be laying my head on right now. Five O’ Clock comes early and it never hurts any less even when it becomes routine but I visualize myself successful with ultra-white teeth, freshly pressed clothing and hair bouncing with just the right amount of body and the perfect shade of color. Sometime when I get to work it is a struggle to speak the English language but I manage to get 8 hours of work completed (most days) before rushing back home to see you and your dad.
I always knew I wanted to be a mom but I pictured myself being much more polished at it! Life is funny and you’ll see that the best way to handle it is to take it all in and learn to laugh and embrace the unexpected things. I hope you’ll learn to have a plan but I also hope you’ll be willing to abandon it when your plan no longer fits where you are in life. Sometimes having the carpet pulled out from under our feet is the best and most exciting thing that ever happens to us!
So you are 7 months and some change! How did you grow so fast!?
You are the most special little stinker in the whole wide world! I feel proud and kind of responsible when you sing because singing is a big part of how I communicate with you. I sing to sooth you and I sing to make you giggle. Your dad plays you records to so I’m certain that is a big part too. When you sit up you smack your hands happily on your thighs and I mimick you to get a laugh. I don’t know what it means but it’s fun to watch! You love hearing your own voice as much as we do! Sometimes you whisper dadadada and mamamama and nananana and sometimes you shout DADADADA and MAMAMA and NANANANA! It’s a big time experiment! Serious business!
Let’s see…you’re 20 and a half pounds now. You are wearing 1 year old clothes and your feet are pretty big but still really soft and I kiss the arches all the time which makes you smile. You bounce and reach out as we cart you around on our hips, shoulders and wherever else you will fit. You gurgle and hum in your chest when joining in on our conversations and you love looking at ceiling fans.
When you’re sleepy you grunt and rub your drool all over your face while rubbing your eyes. You fuss going down and you fuss waking up but you sleep like a rock. I mena the other day I lifted your armand put it back down and I got no reaction!
Your thighs are roly, your cheeks are round a flush and your little taters (bum/derriere whatever) are the cutest hunks of chub I have ever seen (and yes, I squish them because I’m mom and I can..for now).
I’m sure I’m missing milestones but the biggest milestone is you’re almost 7.5 months! That’s a pretty big deal! It may be time to start planning that 1st birthday party for you! At the rate I’m going I need to start a little early.
Mama and Papa
One of my favorite books growing up was The Visit, By Joan Esley, Illustrated By Eloise Wilkin. I remember finding it at my grandmother’s house and every time I would go visit her I would sit in her back bedroom and look at it. I don’t have much that belonged to my grandmother but I somehow ended up with this book and a blanket that belonged to her. To this very day I still love looking at this book. It’s a story about a little girl named Abigail who goes to visit her Great Aunt Lavinia and Uncle Merritt. It’s her first time away from her mother and she is frightened by her Great Aunt and Uncle until she begins to get to know them. I think my love for beautiful old things like rag rugs and cozy window seats came from all the years I spent completely engrossed in this book! I could live in this book!
This weekend Ian is going to stay overnight with Grandma and Papa. It’s only one night but it is his first night away from home without us. This week I have relived The Visit so many times in my head. I know Ian will be perfectly happy with Grandma and Papa but this is such a big thing to me. It’s another first that may not be a baby milestone per say. Maybe it’s more of a mama milestone.
yes is a world
& in this world of
I began this blog with zero expectations. I felt drawn to it and unlike so many other times in my life I said yes to its calling. I found a place to express myself without the confines of my preexisting social setting. I wanted to write my own words without the pressure of wondering what people thought of me. So I set out to speak honestly and share openly. I was scared but still I said yes! I put no limits on my words or thoughts. I did not question what might come from it. I simply wrote. I wrote for myself. I listened to my words. I questioned myself to test my own honesty.
I try to remain true to myself with every letter key I tap on my keyboard. Every day I search for my voice and my feelings as untethered by anyone else’s feelings or opinions as possible. I’m growing every day with every new entry I share. It’s important to me to be honest and real. That’s my voice. That’s the me I hope to share with you!
This blog has brought a great gift my life. I have the chance to inspire and be honest! I have the opportunity to reach out to a great big world and contribute something! If one person takes what I write and does something positive in their lives or someone else’s life I consider myself more successful than you can imagine! Even though I began this blog with zero expectations my life is richer because of it, because of you my readers, because of honesty, because I said yes!
Thank you for inspiring me! I hope to somehow return the favor! Say yes! It may be the adventure of a life time!
We love the way your entire face smiles when you smile. We love how we smile when you smile! We love how you are such a beautiful little human being!
When you sleep pure innocence marks your face somewhere in the space between your eyebrows and your little nose. Your little forehead furrows like a grumpy old man and your pouty mouth softly exhales as you dream. Your hands clinch and relax and reach out while your head bobs from side to side taking in everything you can possible fit within your line of vision. The sound of your voice is the funniest and sweetest sound we’ve ever heard! Sometimes it’s a groan and sometimes it’s a chuckle but it is always gentle and a little timorous and brave all at once! And Ian you are so smart! You learned to make a clucking noise after watching Paw paw do it a couple times. Now when we cluck you cluck back and grin proudly!
Your newborn clothing is long gone and your sneaking into bigger diapers. Don’t think we haven’t noticed! There’s always a long sigh every time we have to fold up something cute and put it in the too small pile. Gone is the little tiny helpless newborn we brought home from the hospital. That little one has been replaced by a robust handsome boy with sparkling eyes, soft peachy cheeks and downy hair growing a little thicker on his head every day. You even have eyebrows now!
Love the way you lift your own legs when we change your diaper! It’s so thoughtful of you. Love how you suck your upper lip in and make a smacking noise while you’re eating. Love your little monkey toes and the way you grip things with them! Love that you have discovered your hands and how yummy they taste! Love how you stick your tongue out to touch our lips when we kiss you! Love how you play coy with daddy and tuck your head in my neck. Most of all we love you because you’re ours!