Here I sit in my kitchen yawning and typing this entry. How do I express all my disjointed thoughts on parenthood? What’s really changed? Then I look at the clock and realize I just started typing this entry and it is precisely 2:47am. I remember my mother telling me she would sew clothes for us kids at 3:00am when the house was quiet and my sister Sarah saying she would do her grocery shopping at the 24 hour Walmart after everyone went to bed. I realize now I have stepped into the world of “I have a child and I’m going to party like a rock star through the night” and by party through the night I mean type blogs entries at an ungodly hour and other such nonsense.
While there is not much sleep happening in this house right now there are all kinds of new discoveries. Ian has rocked our world with his larger than life self. He makes faces and looks like a toothless old man when he laughs which cracks me up. We are still in what I have decided to call the “Hurricane Baby Phase”. Nothing could prepare me better for this phase than college exam week and Hurricane Hugo (Charleston 1989). It’s the longest stretch of no sleep and questionable hygene one could ever imagine! Just when you think you can take no more you take some more and take a deep breath along with it. Eventually you get through it and move on with your daily life and you’re rewarded with a baby smile, a personal lesson learned, or the warmth of a personal struggle shared with the one/s you love.
So what has changed is everything and nothing. We are who we are. We still get up every morning and eat a bowl of cereal. We still stay up late watching random stuff on Netflix while eating copious amounts of ice cream, cheese and pizza. However, before we do that we snuggle and take care of a little magical creature who depends on us for survival. Some day soon he will be sitting next to us with his own bowl of cereal. Some day soon he will be crawling into and out of bed without our help. Some day soon he will snuggle with a stuffed animal instead of us to fall asleep. He’ll still need us and we’ll remain constant. However, everything about the way he needs us will change so many times throughout our lives. What he needs now is someone to kiss him at 3:00am and hold his hand while he drifts back to sleep.
In years to come I think everything and nothing will continue to change. Everything about our priorities will shift and adjust but my hope is that we will always be the same two crazy kids who fell in love… with a little less focus on self and a few more wrinkles . To me that’s not such a bad change at all. For now I’ll say parenthood is what you make of it. There is a lot that falls under that umbrella so for now I’m lacing up my Chuck Taylors and jumping in head first.
On that note I say good night and good morning. I hear a little baby person calling for help from his bedroom down the hall.
This is us and the magical little grape who depends on us. Master Ian David Baker. : )