From the moment I discovered we were pregnant my mind has gone over so many different names for our child. There can be a lot of factors each partner bases their decision on. It depends so much on what is important to each of you. I have spoken with lots of couples who had different motivations behind how they came up with a name and they all make sense to me whether they are similar or different from my motivations. It’s a very individualized process.
Some people want a unique name for their child. They want something cool they haven’t heard before. Some want a name that will make their child sound smart or popular. Some want names that reflects their religious background. Some want vintage names or family names. Some want names that reflect their ethnicity or an interest they feel very strongly about.
I wish I could say I am personally motivated by any of these factors. I’m not. It would certainly make the hunt much easier with a set of established parameters. It is no easy task for a mother and father to agree on one name. In fact I would say it is one of the most difficult decisions you face together during pregnancy. It seems rare that couples agree on the exact same name but somehow a compromise must be reached! If it wasn’t we would all be walking around without names or with at least four names each.
Maybe this is naive but I am of the opinion that a name does not make a man. It is a man that makes a name. So while there are a lot of names that can mean something; ultimately I know it is much more important to teach my son to be the kind of person that makes people fond of his name.
A smart lady once told me when something is meant to be it will find you. Of course I have a name in mind but I’m not so narrow minded as to think it is the only name my son can have. My hope is that the name Dave and I decide on will be something we can both be happy with. My hope is what we decide on gives our son freedom to be himself rather than burden him with living up to an expectation. Ultimately my hope is our child becomes the kind of man that makes his name a blessing when we speak it and a joy when we think of it. With a father like Dave I think half the battle is won.
‘Tis but thy name that is my enemy;
Thou art thyself, though not a Montague.
What’s Montague? it is nor hand, nor foot,
Nor arm, nor face, nor any other part
Belonging to a man. O, be some other name!
What’s in a name? that which we call a rose
By any other name would smell as sweet;
So Romeo would, were he not Romeo call’d,
Retain that dear perfection which he owes
Without that title. Romeo, doff thy name,
And for that name which is no part of thee
Take all myself.